Yesterday we visited the nursery school Kasia will be attending 2 half days/week in the fall for a look around and to meet her new teacher. What a great place! Small, bright and full of lots of fun things. However, by the time we left, the room looked like a cyclone had hit it. Kasia investigated everything - most of which she left strewn all over the place. Her favourite discovery: the Kasia sized counter & sink with taps that she could both reach and turn on. And right next to that, the automatic paper towel dispenser which was no less than utterly awe inspiring. She must have gotten at least 20 paper towels from that dispenser in under 5 minutes - the smile on her face bigger than I had ever seen it. I do believe that their water bill and paper towel budget will "mysteriously" shoot through the roof in the fall.
Kasia also got to choose an animal picture which will be on her locker, at her place for circle time, and on her name card. With a whole table full of animal pictures laid out in front of her, she picked a pretty butterfly - but not before some tense moments where it looked like she was going to pick the worm. Well the worm was pink, but still......
I'm excited for her to start, but nervous too. This will be her first time integrated into a class of "typical" kids. I wonder how she'll manage with them. Will they talk to her? Will they be mean to her? Make fun of her? Will they ask lots of questions and want to know why she doesn't talk, why she's so small and why she has her own assistant? Will their parents ask those same questions? And on the other hand, maybe it'll be really great. The other kids might fall in love with her and she might just flourish by being around them. Whatever the case, I know I can't hold her tightly in my arms and protect her forever, but as I'm learning, letting go is far from easy.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Potty!
Yesterday, while visiting with a friend I hadn't seen in a while, the conversation turned to potty training. Kasia had just gotten up from her nap and my girlfriend asked if I was going to put her on the potty. I gave her "the look". The look that said, "You're kidding right?"
Potty training, to me, is like one of the great mysteries of the universe. I've always had it in my mind that it would just sort of happen. Do I realize that's crazy? Of course I do. Don't get me wrong, I've made some feable attempts at putting Kasia on the potty but never with any success, so I figured she just wasn't ready. Her preschool teacher also used to sit her on the potty each day. Again, without success. I chalked this up to what I had originally been told and read about Kasia's genetic condition as it related to her development - that she probably wouldn't potty train until much much later - some reports even suggested it wasn't at all possible. Why oh why haven't I learned by now??
So this morning, filled with a new determination to crack this potty mystery, I asked Kasia if she'd like to sit on her potty. The fact that she didn't run from me like a wild jackrabbit was encouragment enough, so we tried. She sat, I sang, and water poured from the tap to help her along. And it happened! Glory be, the child peed! I couldn't believe it! There was lots of clapping and praising and both Kasia and I were pretty darn pleased with ourselves.
Obviously one pee doesn't a potty-trained-toddler make, but it's a start!
Today, is a good day!
Potty training, to me, is like one of the great mysteries of the universe. I've always had it in my mind that it would just sort of happen. Do I realize that's crazy? Of course I do. Don't get me wrong, I've made some feable attempts at putting Kasia on the potty but never with any success, so I figured she just wasn't ready. Her preschool teacher also used to sit her on the potty each day. Again, without success. I chalked this up to what I had originally been told and read about Kasia's genetic condition as it related to her development - that she probably wouldn't potty train until much much later - some reports even suggested it wasn't at all possible. Why oh why haven't I learned by now??
So this morning, filled with a new determination to crack this potty mystery, I asked Kasia if she'd like to sit on her potty. The fact that she didn't run from me like a wild jackrabbit was encouragment enough, so we tried. She sat, I sang, and water poured from the tap to help her along. And it happened! Glory be, the child peed! I couldn't believe it! There was lots of clapping and praising and both Kasia and I were pretty darn pleased with ourselves.
Obviously one pee doesn't a potty-trained-toddler make, but it's a start!
Today, is a good day!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
What's In a Name?
When we decided on Kasia's name, I knew that confusion would follow. When they learned of her name, family & friends were puzzled...."Kasia? What's that?" Many asked if I had "made it up", which I found hilarious!! No, I assured them all, it is an actual name.... well, sort of.
It went like this:
I was having an awfully difficult time picking a name for our baby. Had she been a boy, Kasia's name would have been Giancarlo, named after Dino's father. (Whew!) Since she was a girl, I got to choose her name. Katherine was always a possibility, but what I really liked was Kate. I struggled.... could I name my daughter just Kate?? Didn't Jane Pauley name one girl out of her 9 sets of twins Kate? I couldn't do it. I saw into the future and heard those would be name lengtheners calling her Katherine and Katie and Kathy. Noooooooo!!! (Not to insult anyone, but we all have those certain names from our past that we would never consider naming our own children.)
So while talking to a friend one day, she mentioned a girl she knew. A girl named Kasia. My heart skipped a beat and I stopped her in mid-sentence to quiz her about the name and she explained....Kasia is the pet form of Katarzyna in Polish. Katarzyna in English is Katherine. Whoa. I decided right then and there and told no one.
After Kasia was born there were quite a few grumbles over her name and strange looks all around. With time though, I think it's grown on everyone and Kasia has certainly grown into her name. She is definately a Kasia, not a Katherine, Katie or Kate.
But as predicted, confusion has followed. Here are some of the crazy pronunciations we've heard along the way:
Most popular: Ka-see-ah (like the Casio watch but with an a)
Weirdest: Kay-zee-ah (embarrasing when it's yelled out into a waiting room full of people)
Funniest: Ka-zha (a la Zsa Zsa Gabor!)
My personal favourite: Ka-sigh-ah (rhymes with Messiah)
The actual pronunciation: Kasha!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
We Have Words
Not so long ago, a "professional" told me that "If it happened" it would be "a very very very long time before Kasia would talk" and not to hold my breath. Allow me to present Exhibit A.
Of course, saying words is not technially "talking", but everyone has to start somewhere! Right now I'd say she's got about 15-20 words that she uses on a daily basis and her pronunciation of those words is only getting better and better. Here's just one of them:
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Seizures
We recently noticed the return of some"funny stuff" happening as Kasia was falling asleep for naps and at bedtime. Eyes that blinked oddly, hands and feet that seemed to bounce and twitch a bit too rhythmically and great big startling jumps. The kind everyone has now and again just as they fall off to sleep - it's called a clonic jerk. But Kasia wouldn't have just one, she'd have 5 or 6 before settling off into a deep sleep.
All these things I had seen before... before we had put her on anti-seizure meds. So to see these things happening again scares the hell out of me. I'm terrified that it's all starting again and she'll have another big seizure - the kind where 2 ambulances and a firetruck show up at the house and take her away. The kind where I'm leaning over her, stroking her face and telling her that she's okay while at the same time trying to calculate how long the seizure has been going on and making sure she's still breathing. The kind that has me holding my own breath until she opens her eyes and looks at me with recognition in hers. They're horrible, scary, hateful things and I never want her to have one again.
It's been about 6 months since she's had a big one. It was the day after Valentine's Day. I woke up shortly after 5:00 am with Kasia sitting up in bed next to me looking very......odd. She stretched out her arms towards me with a look of terror mixed with uncertainty of who I was. I held her in my lap, yelling for Dino but he had already left for work. The next thing I knew her little body started to shake, I laid her down on the bed and there began the longest seizure she has ever had. There were two calls to 911, the second one frantically asking why the ambulance was taking so long. When it finally arrived, unbelievably, it methodically backed into my driveway and the EMT's sauntered up the walkway like they were there to deliver Girl Guide cookies. I threw open the door with Kasia limp in my arms and screamed at them to get their asses in the house. It was 5:34 am and she was still in the seizure. My heart was beating out of my chest and I wanted to grab the EMT and shake him! Do something!! Finally he picked her up and carried her out to the ambulance, in her pj's - barely wrapped in a blanket and this is when I really went ballistic.
I walked out of the door into the frigid February morning and saw my tiny 3 year old, barely concious, strangely propped up onto the gurney with the seatbelt somehow fastened around her waist and her little feet bare and exposed to the freezing cold. I tried to jump in with her, as I always had in the past, but was forced to enter from the side door and sit in the seat directly behind the gurney. I couldn't even see her and was going out of my mind yelling at the idiotic EMT "Is it over? Are you sure it's over?!?!" They forced me to sit in that seat for the entire ride to the hospital and all I could see was her little hand dangling down. EMT #2, apparently the trainee, started to ask me background information about Kasia and I refused to even acknowledge his presence. EMT #1 then stepped in and asked "what my problem was". I told him this: "You sat me back here in a place where I can't even see my daughter. I don't know if she's okay, I can't see her face, I don't even know if she's stopped seizing. I've always sat on the gurney with her, holding her in my arms - I've never been forced to sit back here like I'm not even a part of this. And I'm really pissed off right now. I'm pissed off at YOU especially because I don't think you have a clue about what the hell you're doing. She's my daughter and you're treating me like I don't matter. So stop asking me questions because I'm done with you. I'll talk to the people at the hospital."
The nurse in the ER later told me that there was no way he could have known if the seizure was truly over - based on Kasia's condition when she arrived, the nurses couldn't even tell.
So, she's been on Keppra ever since, though the days when she was having seizures on a regular basis has obviously left its mark on me. Through all of this I've come to realize something - I am the parent, I know best, and I have every right to demand that my child is taken care of properly. I'm not afraid anymore to speak my mind. None of us should be.
A few days ago we increased her dosage of Keppra and have our fingers crossed that it's all that's needed to remedy the situation. Apparently she's still on a very low dose, so if needed, there's still lots of room to increase it some more. So far, it seems to be working. Only one big jump last night as she was falling off to sleep and no twitchy eyes or limbs.
I hope it lasts.
All these things I had seen before... before we had put her on anti-seizure meds. So to see these things happening again scares the hell out of me. I'm terrified that it's all starting again and she'll have another big seizure - the kind where 2 ambulances and a firetruck show up at the house and take her away. The kind where I'm leaning over her, stroking her face and telling her that she's okay while at the same time trying to calculate how long the seizure has been going on and making sure she's still breathing. The kind that has me holding my own breath until she opens her eyes and looks at me with recognition in hers. They're horrible, scary, hateful things and I never want her to have one again.
It's been about 6 months since she's had a big one. It was the day after Valentine's Day. I woke up shortly after 5:00 am with Kasia sitting up in bed next to me looking very......odd. She stretched out her arms towards me with a look of terror mixed with uncertainty of who I was. I held her in my lap, yelling for Dino but he had already left for work. The next thing I knew her little body started to shake, I laid her down on the bed and there began the longest seizure she has ever had. There were two calls to 911, the second one frantically asking why the ambulance was taking so long. When it finally arrived, unbelievably, it methodically backed into my driveway and the EMT's sauntered up the walkway like they were there to deliver Girl Guide cookies. I threw open the door with Kasia limp in my arms and screamed at them to get their asses in the house. It was 5:34 am and she was still in the seizure. My heart was beating out of my chest and I wanted to grab the EMT and shake him! Do something!! Finally he picked her up and carried her out to the ambulance, in her pj's - barely wrapped in a blanket and this is when I really went ballistic.
I walked out of the door into the frigid February morning and saw my tiny 3 year old, barely concious, strangely propped up onto the gurney with the seatbelt somehow fastened around her waist and her little feet bare and exposed to the freezing cold. I tried to jump in with her, as I always had in the past, but was forced to enter from the side door and sit in the seat directly behind the gurney. I couldn't even see her and was going out of my mind yelling at the idiotic EMT "Is it over? Are you sure it's over?!?!" They forced me to sit in that seat for the entire ride to the hospital and all I could see was her little hand dangling down. EMT #2, apparently the trainee, started to ask me background information about Kasia and I refused to even acknowledge his presence. EMT #1 then stepped in and asked "what my problem was". I told him this: "You sat me back here in a place where I can't even see my daughter. I don't know if she's okay, I can't see her face, I don't even know if she's stopped seizing. I've always sat on the gurney with her, holding her in my arms - I've never been forced to sit back here like I'm not even a part of this. And I'm really pissed off right now. I'm pissed off at YOU especially because I don't think you have a clue about what the hell you're doing. She's my daughter and you're treating me like I don't matter. So stop asking me questions because I'm done with you. I'll talk to the people at the hospital."
The nurse in the ER later told me that there was no way he could have known if the seizure was truly over - based on Kasia's condition when she arrived, the nurses couldn't even tell.
So, she's been on Keppra ever since, though the days when she was having seizures on a regular basis has obviously left its mark on me. Through all of this I've come to realize something - I am the parent, I know best, and I have every right to demand that my child is taken care of properly. I'm not afraid anymore to speak my mind. None of us should be.
A few days ago we increased her dosage of Keppra and have our fingers crossed that it's all that's needed to remedy the situation. Apparently she's still on a very low dose, so if needed, there's still lots of room to increase it some more. So far, it seems to be working. Only one big jump last night as she was falling off to sleep and no twitchy eyes or limbs.
I hope it lasts.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
10 Things That Made Me Smile Today
10. My lilies!
9. Dino made dinner. Had he done the dishes as well, he would've made it higher up on the list.
8. Our hydrangea tree - though lopsided, is starting to bloom!
7. Got my wedding rings cleaned and they're sparkling like brand new! 6. I realized it's Friday tomorrow already!
5. Seeing this.....
4. Kasia's bedroom makeover has begun! The room is taped, patched and ready for paint tomorrow!
3. It's Dairy Queen Miracle Treat Day! All proceeds from every Blizzard go to the Hospital for Sick Children. (As if I need an excuse to eat ice cream....) Did you know they have a Pumpkin Pie Blizzard???
2. Today my mom gave Kasia a blanket that she crocheted years ago and stored away. As luck would have it, it matches Kasia's new bedroom colour scheme perfectly and will make an excellent blanket for a cozy afternoon nap.
1. The number one thing that made me smile:
Kasia is FINALLY 20 pounds!!!
When I saw those numbers on the scale today at her doctor's appointment, I almost cried. Instead we shouted hooray and did a little dance. (Why doesn't anyone cheer when I gain weight?) The picture is of her and my mom.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Picking Paint & The Unspeakable Apple Incident
We recently moved Kasia out of her nursery into her big girl bedroom. We changed the old nursery into our office and it looks great! Sadly, the same cannot be said for her big girl bedroom which (because of a very long delay in her new furniture arriving) now only consists of a double mattress in the corner of the room, a plastic bin as a makeshift dresser, a small table & chair set, and a play kitchen - all surrounded by horribly drab taupe coloured paint.
I've finally managed to convince Dino to paint citing that I cannot have my daughter sleeping in a room the colour of burlap. Convincing him to paint is about as easy as parting the red sea a) because he really hates painting and b) because of what's now known as "the unspeakable apple incident". (Why then don't I just do it myself? I once cut a ceiling in with an eyeshadow brush. Enough said?)
Before Kasia was born - we didn't know if she was going to be a girl or a boy - so we decided to go with a gender neutral nursery. For me, a good idea of a neutral colour was green. But it was not just any green I chose. It was apple green. I spent hours and days and weeks deciding on just the right colour, went out and bought the paint and anxiously awaited for Dino to paint the room. Well, when I got home from work one day he was sitting outside covered in some sort of glowing material - it looked like a glow stick had exploded all over him. He gruffly told me to go check out the nursery.
I walked into the room and was instantly blinded.
The lovely soft apple green I thought I had chosen, when painted on four walls of a small room had become a horrific shade of glowing nuclear waste green (picture Homer at the beginning of the Simpsons). Not only was it too bright for the human eye to safely look at, but the room seemed to hum as well! It was more than a little disturbing and Dino was furious with me.
Needless to say, no one in their right mind would put a baby into a room like that and poor Dino ended up repainting - but not before he made me suffer for 2 or 3 days by telling me that under no circumstances would he repaint. When my whining and crying finally got too much to bear and he ultimately gave in, I sheepishly chose a very non-threatening colour of vanilla and made myself scarce!
Three long years later and I'm finally allowed to pick paint colours again! The ban has been lifted! So for the last week and a half I've had 7 paint chips tacked to the wall and am determined to not screw it up this time. After agonizing over Forget Me Not, Salty Tear, Bird Egg Blue, Vintage Map, etc, etc. I've decided on China Blue. Final answer. I've bought the paint and now we wait. I wonder what will the outcome be???
I've finally managed to convince Dino to paint citing that I cannot have my daughter sleeping in a room the colour of burlap. Convincing him to paint is about as easy as parting the red sea a) because he really hates painting and b) because of what's now known as "the unspeakable apple incident". (Why then don't I just do it myself? I once cut a ceiling in with an eyeshadow brush. Enough said?)
Before Kasia was born - we didn't know if she was going to be a girl or a boy - so we decided to go with a gender neutral nursery. For me, a good idea of a neutral colour was green. But it was not just any green I chose. It was apple green. I spent hours and days and weeks deciding on just the right colour, went out and bought the paint and anxiously awaited for Dino to paint the room. Well, when I got home from work one day he was sitting outside covered in some sort of glowing material - it looked like a glow stick had exploded all over him. He gruffly told me to go check out the nursery.
I walked into the room and was instantly blinded.
The lovely soft apple green I thought I had chosen, when painted on four walls of a small room had become a horrific shade of glowing nuclear waste green (picture Homer at the beginning of the Simpsons). Not only was it too bright for the human eye to safely look at, but the room seemed to hum as well! It was more than a little disturbing and Dino was furious with me.
Needless to say, no one in their right mind would put a baby into a room like that and poor Dino ended up repainting - but not before he made me suffer for 2 or 3 days by telling me that under no circumstances would he repaint. When my whining and crying finally got too much to bear and he ultimately gave in, I sheepishly chose a very non-threatening colour of vanilla and made myself scarce!
Three long years later and I'm finally allowed to pick paint colours again! The ban has been lifted! So for the last week and a half I've had 7 paint chips tacked to the wall and am determined to not screw it up this time. After agonizing over Forget Me Not, Salty Tear, Bird Egg Blue, Vintage Map, etc, etc. I've decided on China Blue. Final answer. I've bought the paint and now we wait. I wonder what will the outcome be???
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