I've really grown to hate assessments. I guess they're useful and all, but the mere mention of the word "assessment" these days makes my stomach churn like it did back in high school on exam day. Looking back, who really cares if I got the definition of "osmosis" wrong in Biology and barely passed Calculus. Big deal! No one sat my parents down, pulled out a big checklist and proceeded to label me as mildly, moderately, or severely delayed in math or science.But that's exactly what I'm now being subjected to with Kasia.
Assessments. Labels. Definitions.
Yesterday I received a call to set up a Cognitive Abilities Assessment, which will determine whether or not Kasia is "globally developmentally delayed". This LABEL is necessary to get her extra help & services in the school system. Without it she won't be able to attend certain schools and/or she may not get the help we know she requires. Apparently the assessment will also indicate her strengths & weaknesses, how she learns, and how much we can expect her to achieve. (Doesn't that get your heart racing???) Maybe that's information I'd rather not know! Perhaps my heart wouldn't have taken the beating it did had I not been told what to expect out of her when she was a newborn. I mean, good thing I didn't decide to jump out in front of that bus after they told me how she would never walk, talk, or interact with us in any way. And how she may not live past the age of 2 years!
So here I am faced with this stupid assessment and I'm angry already. Should I take it with a grain of salt and continue to cheer on Kasia as she defies all that has been said about her thus far? I think so. Will it still hurt to get the results?
I know so.
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6 comments:
Emmett has to be evaluated every 6 months to qualify for services from the Alliance for Infants and Toddlers and God and I just dread it.
Do you drink? If so, pour yourself a nice glass of something while you do the stupid thing. Sometimes it helps if I remind myself of everything he's already done that they said he'd never do. And look at your baby!! She's so much more than any stupid, black & white evaluation sheet. {{hugs}}
I've learned to take these assessments with a grain of salt. A large number of their questions base congnitive development on what a child is doing in the motor skills department-- "child places one object in another object, child uses objects in imaginative play," etc. Also they're usually based on what the assessor is seeing and not what the parent is reporting, so if your kid doesn't particularly feel like performing that day, the results can be way lower than they should be. The last assessment that Connor had put his cognitive development at three months. Ha! I just tell myself that all this means is that we won't have any trouble getting all of the services he needs.
Regardless of what's on that sheet of paper, YOU know what your daughter is capable of right now, and who know what great things she'll be doing in the future? I wouldn't put too much stock in their label-- as you know, the experts have been wrong before. :)
~Jess
The previous posters both made excellent points. You know how I feel about assessments! It's only a means to an end and the results mean little. However, I know that can be small comfort when the time comes. Just remind yourself of how much progress Kasia has made - she will do things in her own way in her own time. She knows better than to rely on books and charts.
Kara, I know how you feel. Jess and Julia really do say it well. I've also learned to take these assessments in stride. I know they are necessary, and I try not to read too much into them. I know they do not present the full picture. It's gotten easier to care less as Max has gotten older, it takes time.
About as much fun as changing a poopy diaper. But we all learn to do that unpleasant task because we recognize the need to do it.
Kasia will still be the same child you love after the assessment. Their report will not change her, but it will give THEM some (not all) direction for providing her services.
Consider the alternative - what if you were required to required to make all her goals without the input of professionals? Some parents do prefer to change every diaper by themselves. Most accept some help from others.
I hope the next assessment is not as bad as you expect. Barbara
You're all right...I know it, but the heart doesn't always listen to reason.
I guess it'll get easier with time. Either that or I'll have to toughen up and not let it bother me as much.
Whatever the case, you're also right that an assessment won't change who she is or how much we love her.
That being said, drinks anyone?
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