Yesterday I had an appointment with the family doctor - the very one from who's care I removed Kasia when she was about 18 months old due to his overt lack of faith in her. There had been comments right from the beginning like, "You can always try again", "It'll be interesting to see if she'll walk", and my personal favourite, after we commented on how we were keeping our hopes up that she would be okay, "Oh no.... not likely. Chromosomes affect every cell in the body, so.... no... she probably won't be okay."
Huh. How much can a person take? So I quietly went about finding her a new doctor. Not so easy in a city suffering a huge doctor shortage, with thousands of people without a family doctor. Through a recommendation from Kasia's pediatrician, I was able to get her another family doctor, a really nice one, but unfortunately after just 6 months, she went on maternity leave and closed her practice indefinitely.
In the meantime, the original family doctor became aware that I had pulled her from his care during a conversation with my father in law, who bluntly explained to him that I hadn't liked it very much when he insinuated that Kasia would not walk. He denied any such remark and seemed very surprised and hurt that his comments had been so terribly misunderstood.
Whatever.
Unfortunately, I have had to keep this man as my family physician. Until I can secure another doctor for myself, I am not stupid enough to throw myself out there at the mercy of walk in clinics as just another nameless face with no medical history file with which to refer.
Which brings me to yesterday. Of course I made Dino come with me to my appointment. (He actually made me promise him that I wouldn't be rude!) It was actually okay.... for a while. But just when I was starting to think I had horribly misjudged the poor man, he made a remark that blew my mind. At one point he asked how our daughter was doing and how old she was now. Although I can't remember his exact words and I won't even try to paraphrase, the gist of his response was halfway between surprise and congratulations to us that she had made it to three & a half years old.
Oddly enough, both Dino & I just let it go and only talked about it later after we had left the office. I was actually glad that he had been there to hear it, so there was no doubt in his mind about what had been said.
The thing I'm most surprised about: I'm not angry. What I do feel is disappointment. Really deep disappointment that he wrote my daughter off from day one and still believes that it's only a matter of time before her bad chromosomes which have "affected every cell in her body", finally cause her little flame to flicker out.
I guess he doesn't realize..... she's a firecracker.
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2 comments:
My first response is my complete, whole-hearted agreement that Kasia is definitely a little firecracker! My second is that your doctor is an ass (pardon my language). I'm so glad to hear that you're not wasting your energy being angry with the guy because he's not worth it. What a jerk.
We had our own run-in with a so-called medical "professional" this morning and it leaves me so frustrated that our medical system (which I mostly like) leaves us in a position where we have no choice but to deal with these types of people again and again.
Many of my friends who have children with Down syndrome have run into this sort of thing as well. They GREATLY underestimate our kids. Even in the local DS clinic, the doctor's attitude is to set the bar low and not be dissapointed. WHAT?!? You did the right thing, there are other doctors out there.
Your little Kasia is adorable! Who couldn't look at her and just love her as a sweet little girl... not a chromosome soup? Ugh!
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